Its a common feeling to feel fear when we are in the midst of change, transition, uncertain outcomes, and making decisions that will affect our future. I feel it strongly, almost daily, as I get closer to publishing my first book. My fearful thoughts can become a revolving door:
“Will people get my book?”
“Will they like it?”
“Is it good enough?”
“This is way beyond my comfort zone to put my ideas out so publicly!” (Insert your inner dialogue here)
These feelings of fear are heightened when we get emotionally charged AND attached to a specific outcome. Even though the attachment to one certain outcome can feel comforting, it can limit what can actually happen for us. I call it “black and white thinking” and the “either-or syndrome.” It usually stems from a myopic view from my analyzer part of my mind. The part that likes things to be clear, defined and
predictable. (even if its “bad” predictable). This part of me likes to know and prepare for the worst case scenario so I am not caught off-guard for the potential danger. The problem is, it cuts me off from my creative, expansive mind: my intuition. My analyzer keeps me small and anxious—just thinking of limiting outcomes where I am fending off incoming harm. I feel fortunate to be the age I am now, because it has given me the experience to catch myself in the moment I start thinking small, black and white, either/or. I use that awareness to catch me in the moment AND get me breathing. Once I am aware and take a deep breath, I start listing the blessings that got me to this current place of uncertainty. This action of gratitude shifts my brain from analyzer to creator. Once I start tapping into creativity, then I am back in alignment with my intuition. Now, I am in a place of power and in tune with the present moment. My intuition can
guide me to understanding and appreciating the information I am certain of and grateful for…leading me to more perspective. This gain of “altitude” shifts my attitude. Once my attitude shifts to the positive, I realize I am no longer scared of what I do not know (uncertainty) AND I choose to focus on what I do know: my Superpower strengths(see my Superpower Playbook) and my virtues like creativity, gratitude and patience, etc. This shift increases my trust levels in myself and the field of infinite possibilities. “Wa-La!” I just kicked my fear of uncertainty to the curb.
I invite you to test drive my theory with these steps:
1) Become aware you are facing uncertainty in some aspect of your life.
2) Notice if/when you have feelings come up about this uncertainty. Write them down, say aloud to friend or yourself
3) Slow down and take several deep, full breaths
4) List 3 blessings you are grateful for in having this awareness of uncertainty
5) Listen to your intuitive insights as they come up in doing any of these steps in this exercise. Write them down in a journal you can come back to and review.
6) Allow gratitude to shift your attitude.
7) Choose to focus on one or several of your Superpowers (I suggest the Optimist, Transformer, and/or Activator)
8) Tap into your core virtues of creativity, patience, and resilience. Here is a poem to inspire you in times of uncertainty:
When your eyes are tired
the world is tired also.
When your vision has gone
no part of the world can find you.
Time to go into the dark
where the night has eyes
to recognize its own.
There you can be sure
you are not beyond love.
The dark will be your womb
The night will give you a horizon
further than you can see.
You must learn one thing.
The world was made to be free in.
Give up all the other worlds
except the one to which you belong.
Sometimes it takes darkness and the sweet
confinement of your aloneness
to learn anything or anyone
that does not bring you alive
is too small for you.
– “Sweet Darkness” by David Whyte, House of Belonging